Abbott reflects on his Catholic teachings

Federal Opposition leader Tony Abbott has today publicly declared an end to his life-long relationship with the Roman Catholic Church, having recently begun initiations into the Muslim faith. Having been photographed reading the Qur'an in a Canberra restaurant last Friday, speculation was rife throughout the media that Mr Abbott was considering a departure from Christianity, as no one could possibly imagine him reading for any other reason.

The shock announcement comes only weeks after Abbott announced he'd like to see all Australian schoolchildren undertake compulsory Bible studies, which he later described as "elaborate trolling".

Throughout his parliamentary and personal life Abbott has prided himself on his reputation as a devout Christian, at one point entering joining a Catholic seminary to pursue a career in priesthood. A self-described "lame, gay churchy loser", Abbott has often been outspoken on a variety of issues, and been subject to criticism for his colourful language.

Despite obvious shortcomings, the local Muslim community is understood to be thrilled by Abbott's religious enlightenment. He is expected to declare a Shahadah, or testimony of faith to Islam in coming weeks at Parramatta mosque.

In related news, the Reverend Fred Nile is also said to be considering a switch to Islam, having seen the error in his ignorant ways.

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