Nick was estatic at his employment offer

The University of Wollongong is today celebrating unprecedented success as Bachelor of Arts recipient Nick Heath graduates with secured future employment. Due to begin his career as a public-servant in 2010, staff and students alike were shocked to hear news of an Arts student actually getting a job.

“Most of our students just go onto honours or postgraduate study, and quietly drift into tutoring or lecturing positions within the University” one staff member told us on the condition of anonymity. “But actually getting a job, it’s unheard of! Nick will be the first addition to our new achievement board, named in his honour.”

Nick was modest when speaking to WPN, though quietly confident in his ability to research and prepare reports on a variety of broad topics.

“When I was preparing for my HSC in 2006, I thought to myself, what degree will give me the least possible career opportunities.

Initially I chose Politics as a major, however Philosophy appealed to me as a definite employment-buster. I mean ethics are great and all, but show me the relevance in the real corporate world.”

The Faculty of Arts is expected to receive a generous grant from the Australian government later this week, in the misguided hope that future undergraduates will gain meaningful employment.

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