A recently returned ESL teacher embarrassed not only himself, but also his colleagues and close friends yesterday when attempting to flaunt his recently-acquired Mandarin Chinese skills in a Sydney CBD restaurant – only to discover the waitress spoke Cantonese.

Having spent the previous four-months teaching English to high-school students in Zhengzhou, Henan Province, Andrew Knight felt his language skills had reached a point to which he could comfortably order kung-pao chicken and a TsingTao beer in Mandarin. What he didn’t count on though, was the waitress not understanding a word he said.

“It was painfully embarrassing” said work colleague Mark Anderson. “As soon as he started translating the Chinese-part of the menu out-loud, I knew it wasn’t going to end well – the English translation is printed right beside it anyway! It’s the last time we ever take him to a restaurant even loosely associated with a country he has visited.”

Fellow diner and Chinese national Joe Huang echoed the sentiments of others in the restaurant. “I was enjoying my dinner when all of a sudden I hear some idiot shouting across the room, trying to order beer in Mandarin! His pronunciation was all wrong, his tones were atrocious, and I’m pretty sure I saw a Lonely Planet guide in his coat pocket.”

Andrew however remains positive, and vows to continue studying and practicing his oral Mandarin. “My next goal is to learn how to compliment a waitress on her good looks. I don’t understand what the big deal is, Kevin Rudd shoots-off some Mandarin and everyone loves him!”

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