Early model trains are also tipped to replace Millennium Trains

Not satisfied with current levels of frustration aimed at the outdated Sydney rail network, CityRail has begun trialling new improvised methods of annoying commuters and making their trips even less bearable.

Methods tabled by a specialised committee included making guards ruder, less helpful and delaying train arrival times, although current measures were judged to be more than sufficient.

Town Hall station meanwhile began trials of broadcasting annoying announcements to passengers awaiting Airport line trains, which are believed to have severely frustrated some passengers to the point of inflicting self-harm.

"We pretty much just looked for the loudest and most obnoxious voice artist we could find, sat them down in front of a microphone and let them have free reign over announcements" a CityRail spokesperson announced this afternoon.

"We were very pleased with the initial results, there were ALOT of pissed off passengers.

"We are planning on rolling the system out across the entire CityRail network." Other prospective measures revealed by WPN investigations include reducing the number of cleaners on trains, making seats even less comfortable than current standards, and canceling all trains in the event of rain.

WPN predicts no impact will be noticed by commuters. Read more CityRail stories at http://www.cityrailed.com

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