Respected members of the community

 With record numbers of commuters now driving to and parking in the CBD, Sydney Council has introduced a series of measures aimed at increasing the number of parking inspectors patrolling the city, while reducing the amount of parking spaces actually available. Aimed at increasing both council revenue and driver frustration levels, a new campaign has been launched enticing uneducated, incompetent and unskilled workers to join the parking infringement team.

Requests have been made for any unemployed citizens with an IQ below 100 to apply, with sociopaths and individuals
lacking consciences listed as most desirable for the position.

"If you've ever been labeled as a 'moron', an 'uneducated idiot' or 'dangerously incompetent' then you could be perfect for this position" an advertisement for the position read. "Here's your chance to get back at all who have wronged you in the past - take this opportunity".

Those opposed to the increase in parking inspectors have found unexpected support from a number of local and national identities, including former PM John Howard and Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe, with messages of support published on protest websites.

John Howard: "Taking away the rights of workers was one thing, but this is just despicable"

Robert Mugabe: "Even I wouldn't stoop that low"

Mel Gibson: "Jews are at fault here"

The recruitment drive comes after numerous failed attempts at training monkeys from Taronga Zoo to patrol the streets and issue parking infringements. Although the throwing of feces at residents was a primary concern of the council, administrators were adamant the issue would go unnoticed when compared to the regular behaviour of inspectors.

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