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Government Internet Filter Expected To Be Roaring Success
News - Australian News
Thursday, 17 December 2009 14:33

This article has been approved for publishing by the Australian Government National Classification System.

Our glorious Minister for Communications, Stephen Conroy

Our glorious Minister for Communications, Stephen Conroy

Yesterdays announcement that the government will require all Internet Service Providers to implement a mandatory block on pages that do not meet the requirements of a National Classification System has been met with great support from the Australian people. Citizens everywhere gathered both in the streets and online to celebrate the courage of the Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy, in his efforts to protect our children and keep Australia safe from the scourge of the earth.


The highly effective filter will protect internet users from devastating material such as pornography, drug use, crime tips and cyber terrorism. Without such a filter, Australia would be left morally corrupt, and at risk of attack by religious fanatics.


The aim of the internet filter, as told by our glorious leader, is to protect children from harmful online content, which according to newspolls is linked to up to 87% of childhood depression. The filter will also allow parents to filter materials they feel is offensive or dangerous to their children, such as anti-government websites and information on protests and demonstrations. 


All material currently on the internet will be given a classification depending on its content - the most dangerous material will be given a Refused Classification rank, meaning it will be filtered from the innocent eyes of our children and Australian citizens. In the tumultuous world we live in, with issues such as war and climate change threatening our way of life, an internet filter is surely in the best interests of the nation. Without such online protection, one can only imagine the horrors we may be exposed to.


Cyber safety should be at the top of the agenda in protecting the safety and rights of all Australians. The right to feel safe and secure online. The right to know our children are growing up in a moral and just world. And the right to be told by the government, what to think and why.


God speed Mr Conroy. Uphold our true Australian values. Maintain our Glorious Government.


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Comments  

 
+1 #28 Short Memory? 2009-12-19 17:20
Quoting Ian:
If the opposition says they'll remove it, they have my vote next time around.


Boy do you have a short memory.How long do you think it would take them to backflip if elected?

Notice Abbott did not denounce it outright? Remember,it was the Howard Govt that softened the public up for this stuff anyway - anti-terror laws anyone? Or invading a country despite over whelming lack of public support.

Industrial action is now an act of terrorism due to the sedition clauses in that legislation. Penalty? Five years gaol. And then there's David Hicks...Closing down Sydney for APEC (citing the terror threat) and then having security you could drive a truck (or a limo sporting a Canadian flag) through.

LAB/LIB are ideological twins these days, the difference is brand, not substance.

If you TRULY oppose this don't vote for either of the main parties.
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0 #27 Mark 2009-12-19 10:23
I, for one, welcome our new internet overlords
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0 #26 Tim Drake 2009-12-19 02:38
This is quite hilarious.
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0 #25 Kyle 2009-12-18 21:39
hmm filter and ultrasurf go pretty well together =]
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0 #24 Dex 2009-12-18 19:30
Citizens "gathered in the streets".

Picture please, this is Australia, I call BS on any gathering in the streets, or even being stuffed to walk to the door to have a look.
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0 #23 James 2009-12-18 16:52
The simple fact that some people actually take this article seriously is far more amusing than the actual article is! Bravo you dumb sh*ts.

Seriously, people... wtf?!? Do you not notice that this entire website is full of satirical articles?
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0 #22 Jc 2009-12-18 16:29
For all those who are saying vote them out... Remember the Howard government tried this back in 1999... They actually listened to the belly laugh that the Aussie IT community let out then...
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+2 #21 a 2009-12-18 16:00
America certainly has its flaws, but at least I can still look at all the sick and twisted stuff I want.

USA all the way!
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+2 #20 aelfheld 2009-12-18 12:54
George Orwell, please call your office.
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0 #19 nathan 2009-12-18 09:50
Quoting Warren:
It's satire, R-Tards.


i sure hope this is satire. if it isnt, im sure as hell glad i dont live in australia. if the us gets like this, and believe me we're already gettin there, there will be no place left for me in this world, no country left where politicians remember they have been appointed by the people, and instead think they have been annointed to rule them. i do not have anything personal against democrats, but those who dont learn from history are bound to repeat it, and it seems to me that not one of them ha ever cracked a history book. remember what happened to the USSR when they did this kind of stuff? ya, they went bankrupt, social turmoil, revolution, yada ya. oh, remember china? the whole "running over protesters with tanks?" The problem with communism is you eventually run out of others peoples money.
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