Party-goer Billy Mareerro circa 2004

Not satisfied with being rushed to Royal Prince Alfred Hospital during 2010 New Years Eve festivities, self-described party animal Billy Mareerro has already declared his 2011 New Years Resolution - to get "drunker, and more smashed (sic) than ever".

"Alot of people make resolutions like 'I want to lose weight' or 'I'll exercise more'. That's absolute crap, why not set a realistic goal?

An awkward situation for the other driver

Confrontation was narrowly avoided in the Sydney CBD last night, as two drivers waiting at the corner of George and King St glanced over at one another uncomfortably while waiting for the lights to change. The exchange of looks, which took place over a two second period, seemed an eternity for anxious bystanders crossing the street.

“I’ve seen it a million times before” one witness told our metropolitan reporter. “It starts with the whole ‘What are you staring at mate? You wanna go [sic]?’ Then it erupts into a full-scale brawl.”

“I was a bit hopeful to see a bit of biff, but I’m sure there’ll be another fight to watch around the corner.”

Witness accounts describe the man as unusually well-dressed

Staff working at retail giant Portmans were left in shock today after a man, shopping with his girlfriend, actually understood how female fashion and styling works. The retail giant has released nationwide memos calling for the immediate removal of lounge chairs from stores, usually reserved for bored partners and husbands, in what they are heralding as 'a new age of male consciousness'.

"He seemed to have a grasp of colour-matching and value for money, it was bizarre" one staff member told WPN. "Normally guys stand around either bored or puzzled, not understanding why short-shorts are stylish, but three-quarter pants are not.

The Barmy Army

After victory at the Adelaide Oval on Tuesday, in which Cook (148) and man-of the-Match Kevin Pietersen scored 227, England look set to retain the Ashes, taking a convincing 1-0 lead in the series. But the English players are not celebrating – yet. Instead, they are leaving that to the ever-loyal 'Barmy Army', who follow the English cricket team around the world, regardless of whether they win, lose, or draw.

The 'Barmy Army' has consistently outnumbered Australia supporters at all matches this season, and English Captain Andrew Strauss believes they have a ‘demoralising effect’ on the Australian’s with their constant, but good-natured ‘argy-bargy’.